








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1509 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,686 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1579 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1217 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1784 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2106 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $758,287 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 218 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 53% | 36 |
| #3 | Fufna | 52% | 130 |
| #4 | wnd | 51% | 152 |
| #5 | umpA | 50% | 175 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | umpA | 50% | 175 |
| #6 | Winchesters | 49% | 143 |
| #7 | fox | 45% | 58 |
| #8 | zheith | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | druhej účet | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winchesters | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | wnd | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | umpA | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Fufna | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | zheith | 3 | 0.0112 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | umpA | 390 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | hauntry | 332 | 0.33 | 9 min |
| #3 | Winchesters | 213 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | wnd | 201 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Fufna | 130 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | +3.95 | 79 | 81 |
| #2 | Fufna | +3.67 | 82 | 57 |
| #3 | umpA | +2.66 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | druhej účet | +2.39 | 76 | 86 |
| #5 | wnd | +0.63 | 82 | 65 |





