








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 774 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4769 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4050 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5786 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3444 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 4848 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,149,339 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazzed | 57% | 23 |
| #2 | Fufna | 53% | 178 |
| #3 | fox | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | hauntry | 52% | 122 |
| #5 | wnd | 51% | 227 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 46% | 89 |
| #9 | Winchesters | 46% | 210 |
| #10 | techmeyer | 44% | 32 |
| #11 | d3LiveRator | 36% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Winchesters | 10 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | wnd | 9 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Nibbler | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Fufna | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | hauntry | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | 884 | 0.34 | 26 min |
| #2 | wnd | 299 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | Winchesters | 294 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | fox | 276 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Fufna | 162 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fufna | +3.60 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | hauntry | +3.12 | 72 | 81 |
| #3 | umpA | +2.17 | 67 | 70 |
| #4 | d3LiveRator | +1.98 | 79 | 54 |
| #5 | bananaman.b * JÄGERMEISTER | +1.48 | 66 | 65 |





