








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 474 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2348 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1012 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1581 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1961 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1436 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $675,865 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 220 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zheith | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | wnd | 57% | 146 |
| #3 | hauntry | 57% | 23 |
| #4 | fox | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | umpA | 53% | 178 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fox | 53% | 43 |
| #5 | umpA | 53% | 178 |
| #6 | Nibbler | 52% | 130 |
| #7 | Winchesters | 52% | 142 |
| #8 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wnd | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | Winchesters | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | umpA | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Nibbler | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Cpt. Sweetpaws | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | umpA | 413 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | hauntry | 218 | 0.42 | 7 min |
| #3 | wnd | 210 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | Winchesters | 208 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Nibbler | 123 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hauntry | +4.12 | 75 | 85 |
| #2 | Fufna | +3.05 | 81 | 56 |
| #3 | umpA | +2.30 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | wnd | +0.47 | 83 | 64 |
| #5 | zheith | -1.11 | 61 | 56 |





