








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2116 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,712 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2259 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2892 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 1876 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1685 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $707,991 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 197 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AliPay | 64% | 25 |
| #2 | Sasquatch | 57% | 40 |
| #3 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | tidi | 56% | 36 |
| #5 | Habelinho | 55% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Lezo. | 53% | 47 |
| #8 | Wigglers | 53% | 53 |
| #9 | WinTeK2$tronK | 51% | 150 |
| #10 | Shanqs | 48% | 52 |
| #11 | oppi | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WinTeK2$tronK | 18 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | max | 15 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | Habelinho | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Shanqs | 6 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | Kevin Kupferbirne | 5 | 0.0159 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | max | 337 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | WinTeK2$tronK | 235 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | Habelinho | 153 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #4 | Shanqs | 125 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wigglers | 78 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevin Kupferbirne | +2.45 | 66 | 48 |
| #2 | WinTeK2$tronK | +1.64 | 71 | 59 |
| #3 | max | +1.64 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | tr2lof | +0.68 | 64 | 65 |
| #5 | Shanqs | +0.22 | 57 | 67 |





