








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 256 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1319 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1417 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1038 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1957 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1172 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $601,064 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REZ | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Bóbr | 53% | 30 |
| #3 | к о г и. | 48% | 33 |
| #4 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 48% | 108 |
| #5 | Elyassu | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | nectarine_consumer | 45% | 121 |
| #7 | Guy In Bathtub | 44% | 127 |
| #8 | vSkate | 42% | 74 |
| #9 | Boothy | 42% | 67 |
| #10 | BodgerBedge | 38% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 33 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 16 | 0.0069 |
| #3 | Boothy | 13 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | vSkate | 10 | 0.0062 |
| #5 | nectarine_consumer | 7 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 572 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #2 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 301 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Boothy | 293 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | vSkate | 205 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Elyassu | 201 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к о г и. | +2.12 | 70 | 68 |
| #2 | vSkate | +1.45 | 57 | 55 |
| #3 | Bóbr | +1.38 | 44 | 79 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | +1.19 | 56 | 53 |
| #5 | Elyassu | +0.30 | 64 | 66 |





