








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 583 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 171 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1957 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3044 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3095 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2253 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,438,476 of utility $220 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6964 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | REZ | 55% | 78 |
| #2 | к о г и. | 54% | 61 |
| #3 | Elyassu | 50% | 108 |
| #4 | Boothy | 50% | 173 |
| #5 | vSkate | 49% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Bóbr | 48% | 106 |
| #7 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 48% | 263 |
| #8 | Guy In Bathtub | 47% | 339 |
| #9 | BodgerBedge | 47% | 60 |
| #10 | Shiro | 45% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 99 | 0.0136 |
| #2 | Boothy | 57 | 0.0155 |
| #3 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 53 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | vSkate | 28 | 0.0060 |
| #5 | Shiro | 15 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 1533 | 0.21 | 29 min |
| #2 | Boothy | 712 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #3 | vSkate | 710 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #4 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 660 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #5 | Elyassu | 440 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к о г и. | +2.01 | 69 | 69 |
| #2 | vSkate | +1.86 | 62 | 52 |
| #3 | Bóbr | +0.92 | 42 | 76 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | +0.89 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | REZ | +0.07 | 63 | 59 |





