








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 137 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,864 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3894 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3590 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 411 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 2969 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,624,238 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 612 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bóbr | 60% | 25 |
| #2 | Elyassu | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | Wumbo | 53% | 154 |
| #4 | kmaddock101 | 53% | 157 |
| #5 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 53% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Guy In Bathtub | 51% | 243 |
| #8 | nectarine_consumer | 49% | 217 |
| #9 | Boothy | 48% | 89 |
| #10 | PaulGall99 | 44% | 34 |
| #11 | Shiro | 42% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 80 | 0.0153 |
| #2 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 48 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Boothy | 43 | 0.0228 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | 27 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Wumbo | 19 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 1103 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 524 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Wumbo | 332 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | Boothy | 268 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #5 | nectarine_consumer | 238 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vSkate | +1.73 | 64 | 52 |
| #2 | nectarine_consumer | +0.85 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | Wumbo | +0.32 | 72 | 47 |
| #4 | Guy In Bathtub | +0.14 | 39 | 63 |
| #5 | kmaddock101 | -0.04 | 36 | 41 |





