








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 249 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2864 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3265 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3396 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1647 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2918 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $929,458 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 456 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vSkate | 58% | 43 |
| #2 | Bóbr | 55% | 92 |
| #3 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 54% | 112 |
| #4 | REZ | 53% | 94 |
| #5 | Guy In Bathtub | 52% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Boothy | 52% | 171 |
| #7 | nectarine_consumer | 50% | 108 |
| #8 | к о г и. | 46% | 54 |
| #9 | BodgerBedge | 45% | 40 |
| #10 | Shiro | 45% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boothy | 36 | 0.0100 |
| #2 | Guy In Bathtub | 30 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 13 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | 9 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | REZ | 8 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 977 | 0.21 | 19 min |
| #2 | Boothy | 635 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Senior man with broccoli dumbell | 277 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | REZ | 258 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Bóbr | 250 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к о г и. | +1.89 | 65 | 72 |
| #2 | Bóbr | +1.70 | 42 | 75 |
| #3 | nectarine_consumer | +1.28 | 56 | 54 |
| #4 | vSkate | +1.27 | 59 | 56 |
| #5 | Elyassu | +0.48 | 67 | 64 |





