








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 590 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 338 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 381 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,848 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3822 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3121 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4435 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3470 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,561,639 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2796 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | к о г и. | 57% | 35 |
| #2 | Bóbr | 55% | 67 |
| #3 | Elyassu | 54% | 112 |
| #4 | vSkate | 53% | 198 |
| #5 | REZ | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Guy In Bathtub | 49% | 307 |
| #7 | BodgerBedge | 48% | 93 |
| #8 | Shiro | 48% | 108 |
| #9 | nectarine_consumer | 48% | 263 |
| #10 | Boothy | 47% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 90 | 0.0138 |
| #2 | Boothy | 59 | 0.0185 |
| #3 | vSkate | 26 | 0.0062 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | 23 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | BodgerBedge | 13 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy In Bathtub | 1400 | 0.22 | 26 min |
| #2 | vSkate | 663 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #3 | Boothy | 444 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | Elyassu | 410 | 0.17 | 10 min |
| #5 | nectarine_consumer | 298 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vSkate | +2.15 | 63 | 52 |
| #2 | Bóbr | +1.87 | 41 | 77 |
| #3 | к о г и. | +1.10 | 67 | 67 |
| #4 | nectarine_consumer | +0.98 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | Elyassu | +0.43 | 67 | 59 |





