








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 951 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 455 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 122 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7975 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,984 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5058 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7012 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7809 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 5105 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,202,249 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 717 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schamaiga Fieling | 54% | 133 |
| #2 | ObiSwagKenobi | 52% | 424 |
| #3 | Sven | 52% | 196 |
| #4 | Schmosby | 52% | 527 |
| #5 | LegendaryWombat | 52% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Schmosby | 52% | 527 |
| #5 | LegendaryWombat | 52% | 83 |
| #6 | Im Al1na | 51% | 367 |
| #7 | ✪commanderLandbier | 49% | 380 |
| #8 | Freistaat Franken | 45% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmosby | 67 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ObiSwagKenobi | 23 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Im Al1na | 19 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | ✪commanderLandbier | 11 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Freistaat Franken | 11 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ObiSwagKenobi | 1111 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #2 | ✪commanderLandbier | 939 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #3 | Im Al1na | 925 | 0.12 | 23 min |
| #4 | Sven | 724 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #5 | Schamaiga Fieling | 598 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | +2.26 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | Schamaiga Fieling | +1.90 | 73 | 79 |
| #3 | ✪commanderLandbier | +0.55 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | ObiSwagKenobi | +0.44 | 51 | 66 |
| #5 | Schmosby | +0.01 | 50 | 70 |





