








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 497 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 135 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9114 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,618 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8618 | 27% |
| Smokes | 5346 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 9156 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 8498 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,080,698 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1009 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | 53% | 176 |
| #2 | Cubegamer | 52% | 424 |
| #3 | Schmosby | 52% | 503 |
| #4 | Im Al1na | 50% | 373 |
| #5 | KartoffelSack863 | 49% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | KartoffelSack863 | 49% | 53 |
| #6 | LegendaryWombat | 48% | 129 |
| #7 | ✪commanderLandbier | 47% | 362 |
| #8 | Schamaiga Fieling | 47% | 192 |
| #9 | Freistaat Franken | 45% | 254 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmosby | 79 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Cubegamer | 29 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Freistaat Franken | 18 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | Im Al1na | 16 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Schamaiga Fieling | 13 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cubegamer | 1136 | 0.13 | 47 min |
| #2 | Im Al1na | 995 | 0.13 | 25 min |
| #3 | ✪commanderLandbier | 897 | 0.12 | 24 min |
| #4 | Schamaiga Fieling | 673 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #5 | Sven | 639 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | +2.24 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | Schamaiga Fieling | +1.52 | 73 | 77 |
| #3 | ✪commanderLandbier | +0.76 | 72 | 69 |
| #4 | ObiSwagKenobi | +0.57 | 54 | 65 |
| #5 | LegendaryWombat | +0.46 | 74 | 73 |





