








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 839 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 482 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 138 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7413 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,484 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4801 | 16% |
| Smokes | 7922 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 9673 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7088 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,701,895 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 993 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schamaiga Fieling | 55% | 150 |
| #2 | LegendaryWombat | 54% | 54 |
| #3 | KartoffelSack863 | 53% | 51 |
| #4 | Cubegamer | 52% | 527 |
| #5 | Sven | 52% | 201 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sven | 52% | 201 |
| #6 | ObiSwagKenobi | 52% | 503 |
| #7 | Im Al1na | 50% | 456 |
| #8 | ✪commanderLandbier | 48% | 412 |
| #9 | Freistaat Franken | 44% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cubegamer | 44 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ObiSwagKenobi | 41 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Im Al1na | 21 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Schamaiga Fieling | 15 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Freistaat Franken | 14 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cubegamer | 1364 | 0.12 | 56 min |
| #2 | ObiSwagKenobi | 1341 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #3 | Im Al1na | 1221 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #4 | ✪commanderLandbier | 1027 | 0.12 | 25 min |
| #5 | Sven | 699 | 0.17 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sven | +2.22 | 82 | 62 |
| #2 | Schamaiga Fieling | +1.74 | 72 | 79 |
| #3 | ✪commanderLandbier | +0.74 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | ObiSwagKenobi | +0.48 | 53 | 65 |
| #5 | LegendaryWombat | +0.30 | 66 | 74 |





