








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3399 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2149 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2668 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1778 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2150 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,066 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | AF Guppynator | 46% | 59 |
| #8 | Haemo | 44% | 32 |
| #9 | Gilgamesh | 42% | 19 |
| #10 | Grummins | 40% | 40 |
| #11 | gunfingers | 34% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF Guppynator | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | concon. ^^ | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | AF SharkBearz | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | gunfingers | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Pongle | 2 | 0.0030 |





