








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 518 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,730 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2355 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3174 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2361 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1840 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,011,052 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 277 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimless | 61% | 36 |
| #2 | Fearless | 50% | 70 |
| #3 | AF SharkBearz | 49% | 188 |
| #4 | AF Guppynator | 48% | 182 |
| #5 | concon. ^^ | 44% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Grummins | 42% | 48 |
| #9 | oa. | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | Gilgamesh | 36% | 22 |
| #11 | wa1ve | 34% | 35 |
| #12 | Oes | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | 9 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | AF Guppynator | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | aimless | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Fearless | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Haemo | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF Guppynator | 790 | 0.22 | 20 min |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | 435 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #3 | Fearless | 185 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | concon. ^^ | 81 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | Pongle | 80 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimless | +3.06 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | +2.99 | 85 | 72 |
| #3 | wa1ve | +1.06 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | concon. ^^ | +0.91 | 80 | 52 |
| #5 | Oes | +0.08 | 75 | 68 |





