








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1169 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,971 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1066 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1299 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1380 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1226 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $671,014 of utility $189 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 29 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimless | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | Fearless | 58% | 50 |
| #3 | Haemo | 53% | 19 |
| #4 | AF Guppynator | 46% | 80 |
| #5 | Oes | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF SharkBearz | 8 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Fearless | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | gunfingers | 3 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | kman3609 | 3 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Oes | 2 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AF Guppynator | 304 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | 285 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | gunfingers | 117 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Fearless | 116 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Gilgamesh | 86 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aimless | +3.55 | 88 | 70 |
| #2 | AF SharkBearz | +2.30 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | wa1ve | +1.63 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | Fearless | +0.82 | 69 | 48 |
| #5 | Zero Skill Samus | +0.77 | 71 | 40 |





