








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1112 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 407 matches | ||
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




194 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12172 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,128 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6134 | 22% |
| Smokes | 7279 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5602 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 9113 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,225,092 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blazey | 56% | 64 |
| #2 | キオ - Kio | 55% | 64 |
| #3 | Zazu | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | xo | 48% | 355 |
| #5 | HatTapper | 47% | 411 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Zazu | 52% | 77 |
| #4 | xo | 48% | 355 |
| #5 | HatTapper | 47% | 411 |
| #6 | kosovo | 47% | 89 |
| #7 | Hard ahh lion | 42% | 132 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xo | 52 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Hard ahh lion | 21 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | HatTapper | 19 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Zazu | 15 | 0.0096 |
| #5 | kosovo | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xo | 1347 | 0.18 | 32 min |
| #2 | HatTapper | 521 | 0.06 | 15 min |
| #3 | kosovo | 293 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | Hard ahh lion | 202 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Blazey | 181 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zazu | +4.50 | 77 | 63 |
| #2 | Blazey | +1.93 | 79 | 60 |
| #3 | BocchiTheAwp | +1.09 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | xo | +0.15 | 81 | 51 |
| #5 | Hard ahh lion | -0.17 | 77 | 44 |





