








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1846 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1211 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 77 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10189 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 51,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12634 | 24% |
| Smokes | 13471 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 15330 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 10395 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,438,822 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaglemetralha | 53% | 93 |
| #2 | Cavalks | 52% | 136 |
| #3 | Maradona ON | 52% | 155 |
| #4 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 52% | 281 |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | 51% | 422 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Coruja | 47% | 342 |
| #12 | Mr. Kilmister | 46% | 205 |
| #13 | caricannabis | 44% | 358 |
| #14 | th1bas | 43% | 67 |
| #15 | Fabin.Laden | 42% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 56 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | pudinzera | 38 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | W 7 | 28 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Noctis | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | 20 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pudinzera | 1249 | 0.22 | 37 min |
| #2 | W 7 | 1102 | 0.15 | 25 min |
| #3 | Noctis | 939 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #4 | Mr. Kilmister | 804 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | 723 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaglemetralha | +1.41 | 57 | 65 |
| #2 | ET_bilu | +1.41 | 54 | 62 |
| #3 | Coruja | +1.00 | 58 | 71 |
| #4 | Noctis | +0.58 | 80 | 55 |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | +0.47 | 64 | 68 |





