








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 940 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 660 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6916 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5698 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4873 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4785 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,128,995 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 325 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beaglemetralha | 60% | 50 |
| #2 | Ainz | 53% | 60 |
| #3 | Leo Lanches | 53% | 74 |
| #4 | Kurdt_Suicide | 51% | 123 |
| #5 | Caio | 51% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Maradona ON | 45% | 55 |
| #12 | W 7 | 45% | 327 |
| #13 | Mr. Kilmister | 44% | 82 |
| #14 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 43% | 80 |
| #15 | pudinzera | 42% | 106 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ET_bilu | 45 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | W 7 | 24 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | #semfofoca CRAZY PULGA | 19 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | pudinzera | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | AGROBOY | 10 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | W 7 | 1022 | 0.14 | 22 min |
| #2 | ET_bilu | 875 | 0.13 | 21 min |
| #3 | pudinzera | 487 | 0.22 | 15 min |
| #4 | Coruja | 434 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #5 | AGROBOY | 367 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ET_bilu | +1.71 | 58 | 63 |
| #2 | Beaglemetralha | +1.44 | 56 | 61 |
| #3 | Coruja | +1.28 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | Ainz | +0.87 | 55 | 60 |
| #5 | Leo Lanches | +0.74 | 61 | 65 |





