








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 865 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 485 matches | ||
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 68 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,793 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8812 | 23% |
| Smokes | 8357 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 12251 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 8373 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,164,578 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 503 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fatty | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | crayzer1no | 48% | 66 |
| #3 | jayz1337x | 48% | 64 |
| #4 | 4MIR | 48% | 90 |
| #5 | SlooBOB | 46% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | SlooBOB | 46% | 150 |
| #6 | xz0r | 45% | 212 |
| #7 | kronix | 44% | 45 |
| #8 | .dabo | 44% | 137 |
| #9 | Lokiii | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlooBOB | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | crayzer1no | 9 | 0.0066 |
| #3 | xz0r | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | 4MIR | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | fatty | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xz0r | 522 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #2 | .dabo | 394 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | fatty | 389 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | SlooBOB | 362 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | crayzer1no | 261 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronix | +2.08 | 79 | 59 |
| #2 | crayzer1no | +1.74 | 78 | 71 |
| #3 | SlooBOB | +1.31 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | fatty | +0.98 | 89 | 64 |
| #5 | jayz1337x | +0.92 | 75 | 63 |





