








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 718 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 69 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5230 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7494 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5224 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4852 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5529 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $749,010 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 239 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noidontthinkso. | 63% | 43 |
| #2 | XD_Junior | 63% | 24 |
| #3 | fatty | 62% | 55 |
| #4 | SlooBOB | 61% | 204 |
| #5 | kronix | 59% | 108 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | xz0r | 55% | 377 |
| #9 | AalongTimeAgo | 48% | 66 |
| #10 | נυʟıαп | 48% | 46 |
| #11 | Lokiii | 46% | 39 |
| #12 | 4MIR | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xz0r | 10 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | SlooBOB | 10 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | .dabo | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | 4MIR | 7 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | kronix | 4 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xz0r | 782 | 0.10 | 18 min |
| #2 | SlooBOB | 583 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | .dabo | 431 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | kronix | 278 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | AalongTimeAgo | 262 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | crayzer1no | +2.13 | 79 | 74 |
| #2 | SlooBOB | +1.09 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | xz0r | +0.82 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | JAYBE | +0.80 | 93 | 66 |
| #5 | fatty | +0.39 | 89 | 64 |





