








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 243 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,281 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1857 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1324 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 871 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 1229 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $955,197 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | andYw0w~ | 73% | 30 |
| #2 | R3VERSE | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | booo0000 | 64% | 28 |
| #4 | Le_Brotato | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | eggsy | 54% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | eggsy | 54% | 139 |
| #6 | Syth | 51% | 90 |
| #7 | KtXByE | 50% | 109 |
| #8 | Dark | 47% | 36 |
| #9 | Brisky | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eggsy | 17 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | KtXByE | 14 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Syth | 6 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Dark | 6 | 0.0081 |
| #5 | Le_Brotato | 6 | 0.0180 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KtXByE | 267 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | eggsy | 257 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | Dark | 173 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #4 | booo0000 | 169 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | Brisky | 147 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3VERSE | +4.90 | 76 | 51 |
| #2 | Brisky | +4.43 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | booo0000 | +3.94 | 86 | 75 |
| #4 | Dark | +3.36 | 79 | 50 |
| #5 | Le_Brotato | +2.78 | 68 | 64 |





