








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1148 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 276 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 80 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Faceit | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 195 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8082 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5559 | 25% |
| Smokes | 7596 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 6782 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2286 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,488,142 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1692 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kami | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | Debased Bowie | 66% | 70 |
| #3 | RdPnd | 62% | 273 |
| #4 | Minismog | 60% | 131 |
| #5 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pupper | 58% | 187 |
| #9 | neenick | 56% | 167 |
| #10 | pat | 54% | 59 |
| #11 | nissan altimommy | 54% | 76 |
| #12 | I NUTTED | 54% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 91 | 0.0159 |
| #2 | .q | 43 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | neenick | 26 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Minismog | 14 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | I NUTTED | 8 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 1204 | 0.21 | 32 min |
| #2 | .q | 853 | 0.19 | 23 min |
| #3 | neenick | 690 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | Minismog | 403 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 322 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hku | +2.71 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | pupper | +2.11 | 77 | 65 |
| #3 | RdPnd | +1.81 | 62 | 76 |
| #4 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | +1.46 | 77 | 67 |
| #5 | Bayloc | +0.55 | 74 | 61 |





