








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 978 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




99 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,466 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7004 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3241 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4552 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3669 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,672,585 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bayloc | 67% | 58 |
| #2 | hku | 58% | 223 |
| #3 | pat | 55% | 58 |
| #4 | I NUTTED | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | pupper | 54% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | kami | 50% | 38 |
| #10 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 50% | 105 |
| #11 | Minismog | 49% | 132 |
| #12 | nissan altimommy | 44% | 151 |
| #13 | Lil Schizophrenic | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 40 | 0.0189 |
| #2 | Minismog | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | neenick | 17 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | nissan altimommy | 16 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | hku | 12 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hku | 543 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 528 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #3 | neenick | 496 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #4 | RdPnd | 465 | 0.22 | 13 min |
| #5 | Minismog | 453 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hku | +2.93 | 84 | 57 |
| #2 | pupper | +2.29 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | RdPnd | +2.24 | 64 | 75 |
| #4 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | +1.91 | 80 | 65 |
| #5 | neenick | +0.67 | 81 | 65 |





