








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Faceit | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3315 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4439 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3105 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1490 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 3515 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,139,558 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 668 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hku | 60% | 131 |
| #2 | RdPnd | 53% | 176 |
| #3 | neenick | 51% | 162 |
| #4 | .q | 49% | 132 |
| #5 | nissan altimommy | 49% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | nissan altimommy | 49% | 65 |
| #6 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 46% | 63 |
| #7 | Bayloc | 46% | 24 |
| #8 | pupper | 44% | 25 |
| #9 | pat | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 46 | 0.0120 |
| #2 | .q | 27 | 0.0102 |
| #3 | neenick | 15 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | nissan altimommy | 12 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | hku | 11 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RdPnd | 903 | 0.23 | 24 min |
| #2 | neenick | 633 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | .q | 498 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | 356 | 0.27 | 10 min |
| #5 | hku | 315 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hku | +2.46 | 83 | 59 |
| #2 | ビ ケ🎤🐀 | +1.57 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | pupper | +1.54 | 80 | 57 |
| #4 | RdPnd | +1.28 | 64 | 75 |
| #5 | .q | +0.06 | 74 | 61 |





