








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 184 matches | ||
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4232 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4224 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2693 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2078 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,574 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 江戸川 コナン | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | Panda 5 | 59% | 66 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | 56% | 36 |
| #4 | GingaNinja | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | -Thxxs- | 54% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | DUDE | 51% | 144 |
| #9 | milesyo | 49% | 53 |
| #10 | J.KOB | 47% | 64 |
| #11 | Rammo ya salamE | 46% | 136 |
| #12 | Heinrich | 46% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUDE | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #2 | Rammo ya salamE | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Kung Fu Kenny | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | -Thxxs- | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Dosch | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DUDE | 571 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #2 | Rammo ya salamE | 332 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 248 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | J.KOB | 186 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | Panda 5 | 179 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda 5 | +2.77 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | +1.66 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | +1.05 | 69 | 62 |
| #4 | J.KOB | +0.95 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | Kung Fu Kenny | +0.49 | 68 | 67 |





