








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
973 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 753 | 28% |
| Smokes | 892 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 514 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 570 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $205,555 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 江戸川 コナン | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Kenny | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | J.KOB | 75% | 4 |
| #4 | Lorch | 75% | 4 |
| #5 | tk | 75% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | F4CE | 52% | 23 |
| #14 | Heinrich | 42% | 12 |
| #15 | -Thxxs- | 40% | 5 |
| #16 | Payneez | 33% | 6 |
| #17 | ᵗᵇᵒᵒᵐ | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | 191 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | DUDE | 84 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #3 | F4CE | 43 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | -=NoSound=- | 38 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Rammo ya salamE | 34 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panda 5 | +2.87 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | tk | +2.19 | 85 | 71 |
| #3 | 滾開 CS.MONEY | +1.93 | 73 | 60 |
| #4 | J.KOB | +1.41 | 75 | 67 |
| #5 | Kung Fu Kenny | +0.12 | 62 | 63 |





