








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2483 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,995 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2383 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1640 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2055 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $664,437 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 352 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | 54% | 46 |
| #2 | s1 | 53% | 75 |
| #3 | StimkyBub | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | Prism | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | amazing savant | 46% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | StimkyBub | 49% | 92 |
| #4 | Prism | 47% | 55 |
| #5 | amazing savant | 46% | 74 |
| #6 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 44% | 111 |
| #7 | xi | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | s1 | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Prism | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 280 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #2 | s1 | 262 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| #3 | Bunny | 238 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | StimkyBub | 202 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | amazing savant | 194 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | +3.47 | 75 | 66 |
| #2 | deast | +2.54 | 88 | 63 |
| #3 | s1 | +1.64 | 80 | 51 |
| #4 | Prism | +1.20 | 93 | 57 |
| #5 | xi | -0.50 | 56 | 53 |





