








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 257 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
489 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,581 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 554 | 21% |
| Smokes | 713 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 699 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 615 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,321 of utility $227 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s1 | 53% | 38 |
| #2 | deast | 49% | 92 |
| #3 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | xi | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 47% | 55 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | xi | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | Prism | 36% | 11 |
| #7 | Bunny | 35% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deast | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | s1 | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Bunny | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deast | 342 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | s1 | 121 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #3 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 114 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | amazing savant | 88 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bunny | 84 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deast | +3.70 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Bunny | +3.15 | 71 | 69 |
| #3 | s1 | +2.57 | 82 | 50 |
| #4 | xi | +1.78 | 64 | 40 |
| #5 | Prism | +0.97 | 95 | 59 |





