










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 956 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1839 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1621 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1169 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 860 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 988 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,559 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nv+} | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | TheNomad | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Bunny | 70% | 23 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 54% | 61 |
| #5 | deast | 53% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | StimkyBub | 53% | 38 |
| #7 | xi | 52% | 92 |
| #8 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 52% | 56 |
| #9 | Prism | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | r0bless | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | 5 | 0.0106 |
| #2 | xi | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | deast | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | amazing savant | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 2 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | deast | 325 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | xi | 232 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | amazing savant | 164 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | Bunny | 135 | 0.29 | 3 min |
| #5 | JáÐêñ« BUY MASARI OR STAY POOR | 102 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bunny | +4.53 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | deast | +2.04 | 87 | 67 |
| #3 | r0bless | +1.42 | 80 | 50 |
| #4 | s1 | +1.03 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | xi | +0.69 | 63 | 53 |





