








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 730 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 151 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6064 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4425 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3770 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5274 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4695 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,552,132 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1657 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♿Red♿ | 58% | 64 |
| #2 | -ELI | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | mikeymcc0 | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | Little Chicken | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | S0151D | 53% | 94 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Xung Crev | 48% | 105 |
| #9 | Red | 47% | 344 |
| #10 | Google Guy | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | savvy | 46% | 70 |
| #12 | Camzee | 45% | 141 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red | 30 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 9 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Xung Crev | 9 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | Big Chicken | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Little Chicken | 8 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red | 1096 | 0.15 | 23 min |
| #2 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 1092 | 0.21 | 23 min |
| #3 | Big Chicken | 573 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| #4 | mikeymcc0 | 343 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Little Chicken | 333 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Chicken | +3.25 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Big Chicken | +2.12 | 84 | 59 |
| #3 | -ELI | +1.85 | 64 | 56 |
| #4 | ♿Red♿ | +1.70 | 75 | 51 |
| #5 | Camzee | +1.09 | 57 | 42 |





