








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 676 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1610 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1144 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1463 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 899 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $578,607 of utility $123 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 189 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ELI | 74% | 19 |
| #2 | S0151D | 64% | 25 |
| #3 | Google Guy | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | SmiGGa | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | Red | 52% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Red | 52% | 64 |
| #6 | Little Chicken | 51% | 53 |
| #7 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 50% | 42 |
| #8 | Camzee | 41% | 17 |
| #9 | Big Chicken | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Little Chicken | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | SmiGGa | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | S0151D | 2 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmiGGa | 221 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #2 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 188 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Red | 179 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Little Chicken | 133 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Big Chicken | 99 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Chicken | +2.98 | 88 | 59 |
| #2 | -ELI | +2.64 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Google Guy | +2.32 | 50 | 70 |
| #4 | S0151D | +1.86 | 53 | 49 |
| #5 | Big Chicken | +1.59 | 86 | 59 |





