








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,138 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4418 | 44% |
| Smokes | 2151 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2189 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1380 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,297,621 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ELI | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | ♿Red♿ | 54% | 37 |
| #3 | SmiGGa | 52% | 196 |
| #4 | S0151D | 51% | 51 |
| #5 | Camzee | 51% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Xung Crev | 50% | 22 |
| #7 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 49% | 87 |
| #8 | Red | 48% | 132 |
| #9 | savvy | 48% | 40 |
| #10 | mikeymcc0 | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Red | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | SmiGGa | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | ♿Red♿ | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | savvy | 4 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 478 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Red | 421 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | SmiGGa | 279 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Camzee | 159 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | S0151D | 118 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Big Chicken | +1.81 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | ♿Red♿ | +1.76 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | S0151D | +1.08 | 55 | 47 |
| #4 | Camzee | +1.08 | 57 | 44 |
| #5 | Red | +0.59 | 64 | 49 |





