








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 360 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3273 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4311 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2714 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2324 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1458 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,007,363 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 91 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -ELI | 62% | 95 |
| #2 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 58% | 59 |
| #3 | SmiGGa | 55% | 132 |
| #4 | Camzee | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | mikeymcc0 | 51% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Camzee | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | mikeymcc0 | 51% | 53 |
| #6 | savvy | 48% | 62 |
| #7 | S0151D | 48% | 48 |
| #8 | Red | 46% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmiGGa | 11 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Red | 5 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | S0151D | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | -ELI | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | savvy | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☁ Hasj smoker ☁ | 249 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Red | 176 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | SmiGGa | 150 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Camzee | 127 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | -ELI | 103 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Little Chicken | +2.39 | 85 | 59 |
| #2 | -ELI | +2.01 | 67 | 53 |
| #3 | Camzee | +0.69 | 52 | 51 |
| #4 | S0151D | +0.58 | 58 | 52 |
| #5 | Red | +0.24 | 56 | 51 |





