








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,689 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2240 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2513 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2415 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 1521 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,499 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Houdini Musolini | 67% | 15 |
| #2 | PiXELonPC | 60% | 20 |
| #3 | Adobe Photoshop 2024 #on Roller | 58% | 36 |
| #4 | Adobe After Effects 2024 | 55% | 33 |
| #5 | Infinite Mage Lano | 52% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitro | 12 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Infinite Mage Lano | 6 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Adobe Photoshop 2024 #on Roller | 5 | 0.0073 |
| #5 | Adobe After Effects 2024 | 4 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zitro | 502 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | 170 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | ☠ Rockgoehre ☠ ♥ | 162 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | PiXELonPC | 133 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #5 | ๖ۣۜℜaiτ.#✨ | 89 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adobe Photoshop 2024 #on Roller | +7.57 | 99 | 62 |
| #2 | .iS tHaT FoHrReLlE !? | +6.22 | 98 | 60 |
| #3 | #PatGum | +5.37 | 75 | 60 |
| #4 | Adobe After Effects 2024 | +4.70 | 95 | 62 |
| #5 | マーロン MVRL0 | +3.04 | 85 | 58 |





