








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 810 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 176 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Renown | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3499 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5850 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6047 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4409 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4481 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $435,408 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 202 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NervööSP | 61% | 202 |
| #2 | Melooni | 60% | 345 |
| #3 | atte | 59% | 335 |
| #4 | EKstrs | 59% | 383 |
| #5 | {rehti}Adios | 59% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | atte | 59% | 335 |
| #4 | EKstrs | 59% | 383 |
| #5 | {rehti}Adios | 59% | 41 |
| #6 | KOFF | 58% | 62 |
| #7 | Hippuli | 55% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EKstrs | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | NervööSP | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | atte | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | Melooni | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | KOFF | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melooni | 1183 | 0.16 | 32 min |
| #2 | atte | 830 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #3 | EKstrs | 751 | 0.09 | 25 min |
| #4 | NervööSP | 162 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Hippuli | 52 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EKstrs | +2.65 | 87 | 78 |
| #2 | jacka | +1.72 | 82 | 77 |
| #3 | atte | +0.24 | 82 | 71 |
| #4 | Melooni | -0.92 | 64 | 67 |
| #5 | NervööSP | -1.96 | 65 | 65 |





