








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 365 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 102 matches | ||
| Wingman | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 27 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




70 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4215 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,801 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1803 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3790 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3848 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5360 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,721,465 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1125 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Particle in Box | 48% | 29 |
| #2 | kron job | 47% | 221 |
| #3 | MediaGeneral | 44% | 141 |
| #4 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 43% | 97 |
| #5 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 42% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 42% | 259 |
| #6 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 42% | 60 |
| #7 | robby | 42% | 84 |
| #8 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 41% | 143 |
| #9 | Lap88 | 40% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 46 | 0.0161 |
| #2 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 22 | 0.0187 |
| #3 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 21 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 21 | 0.0112 |
| #5 | kron job | 12 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 567 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | MediaGeneral | 543 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #3 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 445 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #4 | kron job | 301 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 141 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby | +4.74 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | Fishwad? | +1.33 | 61 | 53 |
| #3 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | +0.23 | 61 | 59 |
| #4 | Particle in Box | -0.51 | 70 | 47 |
| #5 | MediaGeneral | -0.53 | 58 | 58 |





