








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 70 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 51 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
808 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 587 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1022 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 789 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 844 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $401,004 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 894 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MediaGeneral | 44% | 18 |
| #2 | Fishwad? | 43% | 97 |
| #3 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 42% | 26 |
| #4 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 39% | 64 |
| #5 | kron job | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishwad? | 19 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 18 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 10 | 0.0199 |
| #4 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 7 | 0.0078 |
| #5 | kron job | 6 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 171 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #2 | Fishwad? | 124 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 99 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | MediaGeneral | 65 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby | +2.98 | 83 | 43 |
| #2 | Fishwad? | +0.92 | 64 | 48 |
| #3 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | +0.89 | 63 | 59 |
| #4 | kron job | -0.64 | 58 | 39 |
| #5 | MediaGeneral | -0.67 | 56 | 51 |





