








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 249 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2196 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1910 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3245 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 538 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 2329 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,081,329 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 536 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lap88 | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | Particle in Box | 50% | 58 |
| #3 | Fishwad? | 47% | 221 |
| #4 | MediaGeneral | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 45% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | MediaGeneral | 46% | 199 |
| #5 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 45% | 150 |
| #6 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 45% | 56 |
| #7 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 39% | 31 |
| #8 | robby | 37% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishwad? | 15 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 8 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | MediaGeneral | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 4 | 0.0063 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MediaGeneral | 765 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 347 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | Fishwad? | 254 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | robby | 133 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 120 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby | +3.90 | 85 | 53 |
| #2 | Fishwad? | +1.65 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | MediaGeneral | -0.10 | 62 | 58 |
| #4 | Particle in Box | -0.46 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | kron job | -0.66 | 58 | 46 |





