








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,876 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 593 | 21% |
| Smokes | 901 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 742 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 640 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $493,388 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kron job | 51% | 53 |
| #2 | robby | 46% | 28 |
| #3 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 44% | 77 |
| #4 | MediaGeneral | 41% | 41 |
| #5 | Fishwad? | 40% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fishwad? | 40% | 89 |
| #6 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 38% | 8 |
| #7 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 33% | 6 |
| #8 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 25% | 20 |
| #9 | Particle in Box | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishwad? | 12 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 7 | 0.0169 |
| #4 | kron job | 5 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 3 | 0.0246 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Breadfruit (Post-Op) | 194 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | MediaGeneral | 181 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fishwad? | 115 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | kron job | 92 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 83 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby | +6.43 | 84 | 53 |
| #2 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | +1.40 | 73 | 82 |
| #3 | Fishwad? | +0.97 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | MediaGeneral | +0.64 | 54 | 61 |
| #5 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | -0.28 | 66 | 67 |





