








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 127 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2272 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,482 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2518 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2670 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2730 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1564 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $580,914 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kron job | 45% | 150 |
| #2 | MediaGeneral | 45% | 107 |
| #3 | Lap88 | 44% | 77 |
| #4 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Fishwad? | 42% | 259 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fishwad? | 42% | 259 |
| #6 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 38% | 94 |
| #7 | Particle in Box | 38% | 16 |
| #8 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 38% | 48 |
| #9 | robby | 34% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fishwad? | 48 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 30 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 17 | 0.0188 |
| #4 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | 11 | 0.0171 |
| #5 | kron job | 9 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MediaGeneral | 406 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Rick Yorn (LBI Entertainment) | 315 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Fishwad? | 300 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | kron job | 221 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | 74 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | robby | +3.81 | 84 | 47 |
| #2 | Fishwad? | +1.75 | 61 | 54 |
| #3 | Autozone Employee (Bricked) | +1.05 | 62 | 57 |
| #4 | Particle in Box | -0.14 | 81 | 49 |
| #5 | Prescott Globuel (Unliterate) | -0.52 | 65 | 60 |





