








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 962 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1100 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1239 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1003 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $353,692 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seltbox | 49% | 108 |
| #2 | Leonidas | 49% | 76 |
| #3 | fuzhinkata | 48% | 120 |
| #4 | Konqtskitarata | 47% | 49 |
| #5 | Talpax | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | le snek | 43% | 21 |
| #7 | Cinderella Man | 43% | 21 |
| #8 | Jmuccera | 43% | 61 |
| #9 | Кирил и Методий | 41% | 44 |
| #10 | ✪ asi | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seltbox | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | fuzhinkata | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Leonidas | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Cinderella Man | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Talpax | 2 | 0.0116 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Seltbox | 300 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Konqtskitarata | 279 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | fuzhinkata | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | Leonidas | 149 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | le snek | 54 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | +3.19 | 90 | 50 |
| #2 | Seltbox | +2.99 | 81 | 71 |
| #3 | Talpax | +2.84 | 82 | 56 |
| #4 | Jmuccera | +1.88 | 74 | 53 |
| #5 | Cinderella Man | -0.12 | 63 | 54 |





