








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
726 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 157 | 13% |
| Smokes | 292 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 462 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 306 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $197,771 of utility $70 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jmuccera | 48% | 52 |
| #2 | Seltbox | 47% | 106 |
| #3 | le snek | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | fuzhinkata | 44% | 116 |
| #5 | Leonidas | 43% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | fuzhinkata | 44% | 116 |
| #5 | Leonidas | 43% | 74 |
| #6 | nоface | 43% | 7 |
| #7 | Shibann Alutist | 41% | 44 |
| #8 | Konqtskitarata | 33% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shibann Alutist | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | fuzhinkata | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Seltbox | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Jmuccera | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Konqtskitarata | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Konqtskitarata | 264 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | fuzhinkata | 259 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #3 | Seltbox | 240 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Leonidas | 148 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | le snek | 77 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fuzhinkata | +2.60 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | Seltbox | +2.54 | 79 | 69 |
| #3 | Jmuccera | +1.94 | 74 | 52 |
| #4 | nоface | -0.37 | 82 | 59 |
| #5 | Konqtskitarata | -1.24 | 74 | 58 |





