








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 94 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4690 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4590 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2974 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3591 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,856 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arctos | 79% | 28 |
| #2 | Sithis | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | oats | 64% | 95 |
| #4 | Steadfast | 62% | 26 |
| #5 | kortness | 59% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Tyreek Hill | 54% | 129 |
| #9 | sticky fingers | 52% | 54 |
| #10 | Penske | 51% | 178 |
| #11 | pcookie2222 | 50% | 62 |
| #12 | Fictionul | 49% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Penske | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | pcookie2222 | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Sithis | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Fictionul | 4 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penske | 858 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| #2 | Tyreek Hill | 484 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #3 | Fictionul | 423 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | ezstaysafe | 371 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 315 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steadfast | +4.53 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Chilla | +2.17 | 77 | 69 |
| #3 | Fictionul | +1.12 | 75 | 57 |
| #4 | sticky fingers | +0.90 | 71 | 40 |
| #5 | Sithis | +0.75 | 54 | 70 |





