








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 182 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 187 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,710 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1571 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2992 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2668 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3479 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,253,361 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chilla | 64% | 95 |
| #2 | kortness | 62% | 199 |
| #3 | pcookie2222 | 62% | 117 |
| #4 | sticky fingers | 61% | 116 |
| #5 | Fictionul | 60% | 189 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | pcookie2222 | 62% | 117 |
| #4 | sticky fingers | 61% | 116 |
| #5 | Fictionul | 60% | 189 |
| #6 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 58% | 456 |
| #7 | Penske | 54% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Fictionul | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Penske | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | pcookie2222 | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Chilla | 4 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puppy Monkey Baby | 1412 | 0.16 | 30 min |
| #2 | Penske | 571 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| #3 | Chilla | 536 | 0.28 | 12 min |
| #4 | Fictionul | 320 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | pcookie2222 | 319 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chilla | +4.60 | 81 | 69 |
| #2 | Fictionul | +4.12 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | sticky fingers | +3.10 | 80 | 56 |
| #4 | Penske | +2.00 | 70 | 69 |
| #5 | oats | +1.11 | 64 | 36 |





