








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 684 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




198 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,493 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7426 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4423 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5480 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3164 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,889,153 of utility $161 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 306 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bob4 | 55% | 49 |
| #2 | ⚡melonE ⚡ | 50% | 30 |
| #3 | Acog | 49% | 41 |
| #4 | wohoo | 48% | 120 |
| #5 | ℬ₳ℬ¥ツ | 45% | 176 |





