








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2003 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2121 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2943 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 1615 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,551 of utility $168 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GRMZ | 69% | 16 |
| #2 | core | 60% | 65 |
| #3 | dav0ke | 56% | 104 |
| #4 | spGEEッ | 55% | 121 |
| #5 | flipp | 55% | 118 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | flipp | 55% | 118 |
| #6 | ColonelMichel | 53% | 19 |
| #7 | gravityy | 51% | 128 |
| #8 | kronikz | 50% | 26 |
| #9 | p | 45% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spGEEッ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | dav0ke | 5 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | gravityy | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | core | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | flipp | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravityy | 406 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | dav0ke | 387 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #3 | spGEEッ | 373 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #4 | flipp | 201 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | core | 177 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flipp | +1.87 | 90 | 49 |
| #2 | GRMZ | +1.61 | 70 | 72 |
| #3 | gravityy | +1.07 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | dav0ke | +0.74 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | core | -0.17 | 77 | 55 |





