








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 121 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2900 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,050 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2247 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2269 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2590 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1944 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $686,231 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kronikz | 88% | 24 |
| #2 | ColonelMichel | 70% | 56 |
| #3 | weirDs- | 60% | 65 |
| #4 | flipp | 60% | 162 |
| #5 | spGEEッ | 59% | 140 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | spGEEッ | 59% | 140 |
| #6 | dav0ke | 58% | 127 |
| #7 | gravityy | 58% | 153 |
| #8 | p | 54% | 52 |
| #9 | Corn | 50% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spGEEッ | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | dav0ke | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | flipp | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | gravityy | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | p | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dav0ke | 512 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #2 | gravityy | 506 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | spGEEッ | 435 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #4 | flipp | 281 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #5 | ColonelMichel | 183 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravityy | +1.83 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | flipp | +1.82 | 90 | 55 |
| #3 | dav0ke | +1.01 | 75 | 75 |
| #4 | kronikz | +0.61 | 71 | 62 |
| #5 | core | +0.42 | 76 | 57 |





