








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1091 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 960 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




115 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9736 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,477 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11230 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4541 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 11422 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 6284 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,416,624 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1791 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | 56% | 118 |
| #2 | King ` G | 54% | 101 |
| #3 | King Clap | 50% | 96 |
| #4 | dannyjf | 49% | 246 |
| #5 | Fence | 49% | 690 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Fence | 49% | 690 |
| #6 | Superkai64 | 49% | 367 |
| #7 | Jiimmy_b | 46% | 280 |
| #8 | Thistle | 44% | 133 |
| #9 | Ballbang Inspector | 44% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fence | 110 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | Jiimmy_b | 63 | 0.0106 |
| #3 | Superkai64 | 43 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | kurwa | 32 | 0.0130 |
| #5 | dannyjf | 31 | 0.0059 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fence | 1232 | 0.08 | 35 min |
| #2 | Superkai64 | 1212 | 0.15 | 37 min |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 650 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #4 | dannyjf | 643 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #5 | kurwa | 387 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | +4.55 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Superkai64 | +3.86 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | dannyjf | +1.12 | 65 | 60 |
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | +1.08 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | King Clap | +0.07 | 72 | 68 |





