








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 50 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 303 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3062 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2583 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2523 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2158 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,014,074 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | King ` G | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | kurwa | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | Fence | 48% | 228 |
| #4 | Superkai64 | 46% | 196 |
| #5 | Rickyisms | 46% | 280 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Fence | 48% | 228 |
| #4 | Superkai64 | 46% | 196 |
| #5 | Rickyisms | 46% | 280 |
| #6 | Thistle | 45% | 84 |
| #7 | dannyjf | 44% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fence | 48 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | Superkai64 | 34 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Rickyisms | 27 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | kurwa | 19 | 0.0204 |
| #5 | dannyjf | 16 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 678 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #2 | Superkai64 | 632 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | Fence | 440 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #4 | dannyjf | 261 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Thistle | 184 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | +5.17 | 86 | 69 |
| #2 | Superkai64 | +3.58 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | +0.86 | 86 | 58 |
| #4 | dannyjf | +0.84 | 69 | 61 |
| #5 | Fence | -0.91 | 58 | 57 |





