








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1169 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 941 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 500 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




131 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,443 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5734 | 20% |
| Smokes | 7253 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7548 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 7908 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,564,559 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 216 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | 58% | 84 |
| #2 | King ` G | 55% | 88 |
| #3 | Rickyisms | 49% | 690 |
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | 48% | 228 |
| #5 | King Clap | 46% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | 48% | 228 |
| #5 | King Clap | 46% | 54 |
| #6 | Superkai64 | 45% | 279 |
| #7 | dannyjf | 45% | 172 |
| #8 | Thistle | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 90 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Jiimmy_b | 51 | 0.0105 |
| #3 | Superkai64 | 43 | 0.0072 |
| #4 | kurwa | 24 | 0.0136 |
| #5 | dannyjf | 20 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rickyisms | 1885 | 0.13 | 54 min |
| #2 | Superkai64 | 957 | 0.16 | 29 min |
| #3 | Jiimmy_b | 525 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | dannyjf | 445 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | kurwa | 271 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kurwa | +4.94 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Superkai64 | +4.11 | 83 | 72 |
| #3 | dannyjf | +1.17 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | Jiimmy_b | +1.11 | 86 | 58 |
| #5 | Fence | +0.26 | 62 | 58 |





